Last night I headed up to Belgrave to see hilarious Australian band The Beards on their farewell tour (I say “up” because it’s literally up on the side of Mount Dandenong, and I live in the valley just below the mountain). I have never seen that many bearded men at a concert before, and this coming from someone who usually goes to Viking and Celtic-themed folk metal concerts. Even a number of the women in the crowd were sporting fake beards. I have never heard the word “beard” repeated so frequently that I almost need to wax it right out from my vocabulary and wait until it grows back.

I didn’t manage to get too many good photos of the band but I did manage to high-five them as they walked on and off stage between sets. The Husband (who has a beard and, as a guy with Ukrainian heritage, sometimes chooses to occasionally channel a decent Kozak moustache) was informed by some of the old blokes at the concert that he had good beard potential and to keep working on it!

Some of this content may be offensive to some of my readers, so don’t watch if you don’t like coarse language or drug references!

*Unfortunately the place was swarming with drunken yobbos. Most of the audience were fine but I’m not a huge fan of yobbos. They’re intimidating and sweaty and can be downright jerks. It just occurred to me that “drunken yobbo” is probably an Australian English term that makes sense to me but I’m not sure how I would communicate a definition to non-Australian readers. I couldn’t possibly nuance it. How is it different from “bogan,” for example? I don’t know. The differences are instinctive, subtle yet meaningful. Yobbos are basically rude, loud blokes (Aussie men, usually of Anglo-European ethnic heritage) who hold stubbies (glass bottles of beer) and yell crap whether at the footy (Australian Rules Football) or at a gig (a musical concert). Perhaps it is that yobbos are bogans but not all bogans are yobbos? And how is bogan different to patriot? Ah, sweet, complex, diverse Australian culture, how could I count your many variants on “drunk person with loudly expressed opinions”?