I am currently decluttering my RedBubble Portfolio, to make way for more recent art that best represents who I am now, as well as to make it easier for customers to navigate the available products for sale. As a result I will be sharing some of my old creative writings here on WordPress, as a way of preserving them. In several cases my mind, opinions, beliefs, values and overall understanding of life have changed since the time I wrote these pieces, but I still feel that they are personally valuable reminders of the various stages of my life journey thus far. Interesting to me are pieces like this one, ‘miracles,’ which I now see – with the magic of hindsight – were major red flags of the growing severity of my then not-yet-diagnosed clinical depression. How things have changed for the better since I sought professional medical help…
This piece of writing was first posted at my RedBubble Creative Writing Portfolio.
Date of original post: 11 August 2011
Total views, at 2 May 2016: 390
If I believe that love is real
and that it is in the realm of the possible:
that someone could ever love me…
my countless reasons for my unworthiness listed in cold ink and sharp clarity
page after page after page
If I were to find that someone could love me – capable of the impossible –
and that I was loved for who I am, despite who I am
though I have nothing to offer him…
men only want women who look plastic perfect, don’t they?
Girls like me aren’t ever good enough
If I were to somehow love and be loved,
found good enough in the sight of a stranger (for who could both know me and love me?)
it would be no less than a true miracle
and this is the part where I begrudgingly admit
that I hope miracles can happen.